


✨ One For The Road? ✨

by Crazy_Comet_97



Series: 😈 Ghoul Bitches (ahem, boyfriends) 😈 [3]
Category: Buzzfeed Unsloved Supernatural (Web Series), Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series), Buzzfeed: Worth It (Web Series), Watcher Entertainment RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Stripper/Exotic Dancer, Bartender Steven Lim, Bodyguard Adam Bianchi, Gen, Implied/Referenced Cheating, M/M, Minor Andrew Ilnyckyj/Steven Lim, Past Shane Madej/Sara Rubin, Podfic Welcome, Ryan Bergara Loves Shane Madej, Shane Madej Loves Ryan Bergara, Strip Club Owner Andrew Ilnyckyj, Stripper Annie Jeong, Stripper Ryan Bergara, Thirsty Shane Madej, completed work, shyan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-14
Updated: 2020-07-14
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:35:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25256281
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crazy_Comet_97/pseuds/Crazy_Comet_97
Summary: "He must have somehow picked up and drunk something he shouldn’t have (probably thanks to Curly, the bastard) because there is no way on God’s green earth that the stripper currently on stage spinning to the cheers of the crowd is /that/ hot."The AU where Watcher is a mighty nice strip club and Shane’s thirsting for more than just the cheap drinks on offer.
Relationships: Adam Bianchi & Annie Jeong, Adam Bianchi/Annie Jeong, Andrew Ilnyckyj & Steven Lim, Andrew Ilnyckyj/Steven Lim, Ryan Bergara & Shane Madej, Ryan Bergara/Shane Madej
Series: 😈 Ghoul Bitches (ahem, boyfriends) 😈 [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1850950
Comments: 1
Kudos: 47





	✨ One For The Road? ✨

**Author's Note:**

> ~ Spanish ~
> 
> \- novio = sweetheart  
> \- querido = dear  
> \- cariño = sweetie

"Cheers!" Devon's sentiments are echoed both by him and Brent as they clink their glasses together, the wrap up of another season of Unsolved and it's sister shows only a few hours behind them as they drink, the crew having been foisted out of their respective homes and work desks to celebrate. It made a pretty picture, especially from Shane's point of view.

From his vanity point, he smiled as he watched the stress and subsequent flakiness from having to film and travel and work leave most of them alone as the music blared in the background, lights a little too bright.

As far as his mind stretched back, Curly, had been the one who had picked this place, a little strip club on the outskirts of LA that not many people in the Buzzfeed office had heard about in passing (as in Curly's words, it was 'muy escondido, dios mío*, but you need to come here.'), but had thankfully journeyed out to without much fuss and honestly?

It was quite the place.

Despite being from Chicago and not a fully-fledged SoCal, Shane had seen his fair share of establishments of this kind. He was a guy of course and even guys who have a personal preference for everyone and would be perfectly fine never entering a club like himself cannot avoid them for very long.

When you have as many friends as he does, a strip club is quite the common thing, especially since most of his friends were married and he'd had to attend a few (more like several) buck's parties within said clubs.

That being said, he honestly can't think of anything really standing out to him. He has his friends instead of a hundred guys doing shots, he guesses, but that's just something he observes while watching everyone, laughing and rolling his eyes without much fuss.

Devon, TJ and Mark are all sitting on the top of the left bench of the booth they've all crammed themselves in, while Jen, Freddie and Kelsey have kidnapped an unsuspecting Brent to dance, leaving him settled in the right side of the booth with Curly.

"Soooo, how you doing, novio*?" Curly grinned over at him, straw leaving his mouth with a slick sound that of course, didn't bother Shane in the slightest, don't be stupid.

"Just drowning out my sorrows, as per usual." He didn't mean for it to come out so flat, but he guessed that was because it was more true than false.

"Oh, querido*." Curly just shook his head and he really couldn't blame him.

Everyone in the office had been walking around him on eggshells since Sara and he broke up, it was bad enough that the woman who cheated on him and the person she cheated on him with worked with him, but it was worse that he now had to walk into his workplace and pretend he was fine with all of it.

Of course, he had Brent (the godsend of a best friend/work husband) to keep him level-headed and calm though most of it (even if he was already predisposed to being some level of calm), it was the times on his own he wished, personally, that he also had someone to replace the Sara shaped hole in his heart.

"I'll be alright, man." He finally muttered, hating he had to come back to the present so soon, but he knew he couldn't leave his friend hanging. "Just have to deal with it."

"For your sake cariño...*" Curly sighed. "For your sake, I hope you find a way to do so."

"Amen." Shane remarked bitterly, raising his beer in return, before taking a drink.

Putting it down quietly, he could hear some commotion in the background, but assumed that it was most likely nothing. It's a club, there's bound to be some level of excitement.

That was until Curly full-on smacked his shoulder with a 'holy god, Shane' and while turning to confront him on just why he had done so, stopped breathing.

He must have somehow picked up and drunk something he shouldn't have (probably thanks to Curly, the bastard) because there is no way on God's green earth that the stripper currently on stage spinning to the cheers of the crowd is /that/ hot.

The stripper in question, a young-looking man on further inspection, was short as hell (well, short according to him, not his fault he was like, 6 feet) but built like a god, somehow able to swing around the pole with the lightest looking touch, in flow with the music above him.

He may not have been wearing anything but some /very/ short black shorts and a black vest that showed off his shoulders jealousy to everyone who was watching, but that really wasn't the point here, seriously, Shane really doesn't care who his hips seemed to be hugged by the material or the fact that he feels that despite them being two different sizes, he could probably be fireman carried by this little guy no sweat and-

Fuck he needs to stop thinking, but given the growing audience he seemed to be pulling, others were inclined to agree with him and his rambling, otter-like thoughts.

Unsure of how long he just watched as this guy flung himself acrobatically in the air and against the ground, he only snapped out of his daze when Curly kept suddenly snapping his fingers all up in his face before retreating. "We lost him, calling it."

"I'm right here..." He couldn't help but grumble, but his attention as once again, is taken by Short, Flexible and Handsome, who seems to be gathering handouts from other customers within the bar and laughing and chatting as he makes his way backstage.

Wait, when did his routine end?!

Despite the fact that he's only A. Just seen the guy on the pole and B. Really has no interest in dating or pursuing or anything remotely romantic whatsoever, Shane somehow manages to scramble to his feet, throwing a lame 'I'll be right back' to his friends whom he's pretty sure are laughing and jeering at his expense as he makes his way through patrons to the bar.

"Hey…" He asks casually because he's not a goddamn heathen, Sherry Madej raised a better kind of human out in the Windy City and not a creep (or at least, not a total creep anyway) and leans over to get near the bartender. "Who was that on the main stage?"

"Oh…" The man, a short looking Asian fellow, grins. "You must be talking about Ryan?"

Ryan? "Ryan, huh?" Shane swallowed, nodding. "Yeah, yeah I'm talking about him."

"Quite easy on the eyes, isn't he? Then again, he's always been that way. He's actually a friend. Ryan and I went to college together and pretty much studied the same classes. When my now-husband opened Watcher, we were really short-staffed and had no one to work here. I knew he was looking for easy money while he was between jobs, so he came here to work for us and he's been so popular he hasn't left. Andrew swears there would be riots if he did."

Huh. A lot of backstory for a guy he'd yet to speak to. Speaking of… "Do you like, happen to have his number, or like a private show roster or something? I know it sounds sleazy, but-"

"One second." The guy cut him off and suddenly yelled out "Yo, Adam!" before turning back to him to shrug with a smile. About 30 seconds later, a bearded man appeared, wearing bouncer attire. "Adam, this is my friend Shane, he's after one of our charges tonight. Could you go backstage and ask Ryan if he's up for a one on one before he leaves?"

"Sure thing, Steven." The man nods calmly and gives Shane a once over, before leaving, disappearing into the heavy curtains that cover the backstage area.

Shane, suddenly rather anxious, turns to the aforementioned bartender (/Steven/, his mind supplies) swallowing hard. "Oh, oh shit, man, I haven't got much cash on me-"

"Don't worry about it, Andrew pays Ryan enough to hold his own, I'm sure he'll at least attempt to be generous in costing for a private show." Steven laughs, shaking his head. "He's been trying to save up for Lakers tickets for months, so that'll probably be in mind."

Lakers? Oh god, this guy was totally from this state. He had to be, supporting a bullshit team like that. Plus, Shane knew /nothing/ about basketball. Or sports. Fuck, of course he had to go and trip over his long ass legs and fall for a So Cal boy he'd never fucking met.

He would have stewed on his feelings more, if it weren't for a sudden tap on his shoulder that almost sent him reeling as he turned around to find the bouncer from earlier looking at him.

"Mr. Bergara has agreed to do a private show and has asked me to escort you to one of our private lounges in the back." Adam murmured gruffly before turning. "Follow me."

Unable to think of anything else than the hope he wasn't seriously embarrassing himself, Shane just stiffly nodded before following the red-haired man, who only stopped to pause and kiss another stripper in a pretty little glittery red getup who was splayed out on another man's lap and had reached out for him on their way through.

At his obviously questioning look, the tips of the bouncer's ears went red while he mumbled something that sounded like 'girlfriend' embarrassingly before they kept walking towards an area marked with both the outside neon logo (some kinda W with a planet in it) and 'Private Areas' written under it in the same neon curvy font and an arrow pointing to the doorway where Adam finally halted, turning to him with a dismissive wave of his hand and arm.

"All the private rooms are located here, sir." He said politely. "Mr. Bergara has asked that you come into the first room to the left of the hallway. If you have trouble finding it, it's the one on the decaled wall, the sign was broken last week, so we've had to leave it unmarked."

"You got it, dude." Shane tried to be witty, but Adam's expressionless face just stared back at him before he just decided to move, feeling his way against the wall till he found the door in question and turned the lock, only to stop dead in the doorway.

There he was.

Obviously, he had been in the process of getting undressed before Adam had stopped him, given his vest was replaced and he'd changed his pants in the back, but he was still gorgeous as he had been on stage, a crown of gold glitter sprinkled on his forehead and hair slightly windswept as he sat, obviously looking at something on his phone.

As well as the above, Shane thought he was seeing things at first, but no- Ryan, his brain reminded him gently, was wearing high heeled open-toed boots, white and silver and pearlescent, the chunky heels leading up the lean, strong-looking legs in a haze of slivery, tinsel like material to just above his knees.

He had no idea that he was caught staring until he heard someone clear their throat and he looked up to see the warmest brown eyes he'd ever come across staring at him.

"You good, buddy?"

"Uh, yeah. Hi. I"m so sorry. I just...the heels look good on you." Shane was usually so chill, but he'd never felt this embarrassed before. "I'm...Shane. I'm the guy you can despise for having to stay a little late tonight."

Ryan regarded him up and down, pursed lips melting into a shy smile. "So you're the one who I've had to stop my podcast for, huh? You really think the heels look good on me?"

"Fuck yeah, your legs are as beautiful as you are, baby." Shane smirked, it soon turned into a grin as he watched Ryan's face darken a shade of reddish-pink. He also jotted the podcast detail down for later in the back of his mind to ask later, should he get that far with him.

"Flatterer, huh?"

"What can I say, I have only the best, top tier, Southern charm at my disposal."

"Oh, is that what you call it? I thought it was just your big head letting out some air."

Oh. He had jokes. Shane had to laugh, the piece of his heart that had been so beaten up by Sara starting to ache a little less. "Maybe, it was, maybe it was. Too bad you can't climb up here to find out, shortstack."

He started chuckling again when he saw Ryan glowering at him, only to blink and find the man in front of him, head only just meeting his chin even in heels. "You take that back."

"Never." Shane brought his hand up to caress the stripper's cheeks, smile softening as he watched his brow crease in confusion. "If I don't get your attention now, little guy, I'll lose my chance of getting a date, or at least your number and I don't give up that easily."

Ryan's eyebrows raised before the pink colour came back to his cheeks. "Well big guy, you just might if you don't take that back and tell me when and where."

The fluttering in Shane's heart suddenly exploded into a symphony. Is this what it felt like with love at first sight? Oh god, his scepticism was waning, Brent would have a field day right now, cameras and all.

"Alright. First, I'm sorry for calling you shortstack. It was out of line and we've barely gotten to know each other, so I'll save it for later."

He heard Ryan's protest huff, but it didn't deter him.

"As for the date, I'll leave it up to you. We can go tonight, right now and bust outta this joint like the wild west in a shootout-" Ryan laughed at that one. Good. "-or, you can give me your number and we can workshop something that works around your and my jobs."

Ryan seemed to think about it for a moment, again looking him up and down.

Did he really look that much like a lurcher?

It was almost making him sweat by the time Ryan chuckled. "Well, I did just make a killing tonight and I'm not really doing nothing else...wanna go to Chipolte?"

"Finally, someone with taste!" Shane fist-pumped the air, grinning when he heard Ryan's laugh spill from his lips again, cheeks still pink as he looked up at him.

"So is that a yes, big guy?"

"Most definitely. Lead the way. I might even use some of that Southern hospitality to magic us an Uber as I'm not driving anytime soon."

"Ooh, I just might faint via your charms."

"Ha! You wish little guy!"

Shane couldn't wish for anything better and despite the fact that he thought some of Ryan's many ideas on his podcast were crazy ("A conspiracy theory podcast? Ryan, come on!" "Hey, some of it's the truth, Shane!" "Ghosts aren't real, princess." "Don't you dare get me started-"), him and his 'princess' got on like a house on fire almost immediately.

Of course, it also came with more pluses than just Ryan's killer looks and even better body and personality. It also came with 'community benefits', if he could say such a thing.

Like for example, if by some strange happenstance that Sara and her new partner were in the office at the same time almost 3 months since their meeting that Ryan, in his beautiful high heeled, backwards cap handsome glory, came in to drop him off a coffee and box of doughnuts only to basically languish over his desk in front of his co-workers and flirt heavily with him before leaving him with bruised lips, raised eyebrows from his friends (except Curly, who was pretending to fan himself at his desk with humour effervescent in his eyes) and his ex pale as the walls of the office, red-faced and shaking with her new 'boo' beside her, he just smiled, shrugged at Brent who of course, rolled his eyes and went back to work.

Not like he planned it or anything.


End file.
